Tuesday, February 26, 2019

BLOTUS and the MAGAs...

BLOTUS
Boss Leader Of The United States
Presents
THE CLIMATE CONTROLLED FUTURE


BLOTUS has shown that he can control the Political Climate, the Business Climate,
and the Climate Of The Court in only two years.


Earth’s Climate should be no problem.


His life takes place in a Climate Controlled environment.


Even when he is out of doors it’s on the White House lawn or a perfectly manicured
golf course.


When he sees the devastation of wildfires in California he waves his hands and simply
says, “Rake it up.”


Remember, there were no trees in The Jetsons.


Puerto Rico is blown away by Hurricane Maria, and he tosses rolls of paper towels
to the citizenry.


It makes perfect sense to him.


Puerto Ricans keep his properties neat and clean using the same paper towels.


Their experience as his wage slaves should come in handy.


Sounds kinda silly doesn’t it.


Stop and think for a moment.


BLOTUS takes great pride in the fact that he has never dirtied his hands doing anything
in his life.


He’d have someone wipe his butt if it weren’t so embarrassing to have a brown person
see his soft white underbelly, touch his flaccidly gelatinous ass, and smell the disgusting
log he produces.


In his omnipotent vision of the future he can simply have bathroom attendants killed
after each deposit and cleansing is complete, flushed away along with the waste.


I’m sure he relishes tales about Potentates of Yore who did such things.


A disaster for him is cold, greasy fries with his Mickey D’s burger, or the wind messing
his hair.


He would be perfectly content to live above the fray in a hermetically sealed,
air conditioned penthouse, surrounded by the trappings of wealth and power,
along with access to Twitter and TV news.


Flooding, wildfires, famine, pestilence and such trivialities would all take place at
street level, no skin off his nose.


Should there be a reason to leave the confines if his crystal palace, an air lock will
protect him until he is inside the heavily armored and climate controlled
transport vehicle.


It’s pretty much what he does now.


BLOTUS is a child of The 50s, when might made right, and everything was black and
white, a simpler world of winners and losers, into which he was born a preordained
winner.


His act as the tough guy from Queens who clawed his way to the top and shook up the
world is pure entertainment for his own puerile pleasure.


I can see BLOTUS seated on a golden throne with velvet cushions in his garish
penthouse, TV news that’s all about him blaring throughout the room, surrounded by
gorgeous slave girls in revealing lingerie, with gold plated duct tape over their mouths,
being regaled by Roger’s tales of polymorphic sexual experiences as he sits giggling
with his hands jammed between his legs to hide his prepubescent boner.


If you don’t believe that, consider this.


His explanation of how tough things were for him starts with the sad fact that he was
only given a million dollars to start off with.


We now know that ‘meager’ amount is a lie, but more importantly he is so out of touch
that he believes a million dollars of 1960s money is short change.


And to this day cannot understand why anyone doubts him.


He said it was true, that’s that.


I defer to George Costanza who told Jerry, “It’s not a lie if you believe it.”


Why on Earth would his base fall for this act?


MAGAs were born to be disgruntled.


As kids they heard bitter adults constantly grousing about the unfairness of life,
while they waited for The Eagle to shit.


BLOTUS was born to play the MAGAs like a sad country fiddle.


In his mind he represents the dream life, all that’s good about The American Dream,
everything the MAGAs can never achieve.


But, if they are lucky and complacent enough, BLOTUS may toss them a bone or two
along the way.


No MAGA ever dreamed of anything more than retiring from their mind numbing
factory job to spend their remaining days in a Barcalounger, with a big screen TV,
and a cold beer to begin with.


The MAGA men want to be him, arrogantly strutting his stuff while everything goes
his way, and the women want to fuck him, because he offers the princess life they
fantasize about.


BLOTUS says he’s on their side, the money shitting Eagle of their dreams.


He began his reign by tossing them all a grand.


I bet Walmart sold more big screen TVs that week than any other time in history.


It took only a few days for that $1000 to be back in the hands of the Walton clan,
the richest family in America.


But the MAGAs will never forget it.


BLOTUS is now featured all day every day on those giant screens, in full HD,
filling MAGA living rooms across the country with his vitriolic bellyaching about
the plight of the unfortunate white men who lost their miserable factory jobs, which,
ironically, they all hated from day one.


Try to imagine his promises blaring at you while you sit staring from your worn out
Barcalounger, surrounded by whining rugrats, eating your Gubmint Cheese sandwich,
popping pain pills, and washing it down with a warm can of cheap beer, still waiting
for The Eagle to drop a deposit in your lap.


BLOTUS, blasting your neurons with his hollow sincerity, repeating over and over
again that he is your guy and all will be well if you give him the power he needs to
make it happen, sounds better and better.


He is, after all, the only game in town.


But we digress.


Back to the issue at hand.


BLOTUS AND CLIMATE CHANGE


Simple.


Just like Saudi Arabia, there’s too much money at stake to let the truth get in the way.


BLOTUS stands with the deniers.


Try this.


Picture BLOTUS lined up with all the big time deniers in your mind, look at them
and consider how much longer they have to live.


Now consider their circumstances.


Each has something to gain by ignoring environmental issues.


Even the worst case scenario doesn’t predict doom in what’s left of their lifetimes.


The greatest wealth and power stems from the use of fossil fuels.


Changing the status quo to ensure a future for those who come next takes time and
will devastate the denier’s wealth.


That’s all they can see.


Men with no future are deciding the future.


The long held idea of working for a future that is better than what you had has left
the building.


To the deniers, that kind of thinking is a loser from the get go.


BLOTUS is their guy.


Simply put, BLOTUS’ wealth all comes from the need to fly for business, stay in hotels,
be entertained, and play golf.


All of those things are dependent on the Energy Status Quo remaining in place.


BLOTUS has too much invested in the way things are to even consider change.


He has lived his entire life ignoring anything that does not suit him.


As mentioned, Earth’s changing climate extends to the Climate Of The Court,
The Business Climate, and hence The Political Climate.


BLOTUS and his crew of international thieves have it all riding on things staying as is
for the rest of their lives.


But, first, they must maintain Climate Control, in all its many meanings.


After that, the world can go to hell in a handbasket for all they care.


Energy from fossil fuels makes the big wheel turn.


It’s The Holy Grail to the old white men in power.


Their bucket list cannot be fulfilled without it.


There is one thing standing in their way, The Natural Course Of Events.


EARTH LOVES CHANGE


Changes, brought on by the Natural Course Of Events, have taken this planet from
molten rock to verdant paradise.


These changes created our niche and are the reason we now live here.


What’s not to love?


Yet, today, we live in fear of the changing Earth.


Rising global temperatures, seemingly caused by carbon emissions generated from our
use of fossil fuels, appear to be altering our niche for the worse.


Global Warming will have an enormous negative effect on us and our fossil fuel based
economy, causing unimaginable loss of life.


But, if we had never developed the fossil fuel economy, we’d still be living in villages,
with little or no contact outside our small world.


Our population would be a small fraction of what it has become since the dawn of The
Anthropocene.


A comet could strike the middle of the Pacific Ocean, leading to a Tsunami that totally
engulfs Hawaii, and we’d never know about it until the wave hit the West Coast.


Even then we’d be faced with wide eyed word of mouth stories told by survivors,
leading to fear based legends.


Fear based legends led to cutting out beating hearts and sacrificing virgins.


The MAGAs of old had no choice but to accept these practices, giving up their innocent
daughters and first born sons in an appeal to the gods for mercy.


Following the Tsunami, inexplicable pestilence caused by rotting carcasses strewn from
California to the Southwest desert would infect survivors, who would migrate inland,
contaminating settlement after settlement with unknown diseases.


North America’s human population would soon be devastated.


So would the Pacific Rim, Australia, and parts of coastal South America.


But the survivors would never know what happened elsewhere, nor would they
understand what brought on their misfortune.


Armageddon would become a personal thing, dead is dead, whether by the blinding
flash of a Nuke or the insidious rotting away caused by an invisible microbe.


Right about then, some confused guy foraging through the hills of Pennsylvania would
notice black goop oozing from the ground.


His discovery would lead to, guess what, development of a fossil fueled economy.


Here we go again!

Monday, November 12, 2018

FREE ADVICE to TRUMP...

Donald J Trump is a rare specimen, begging to be dissected.
He knows it and fears being pinned to a wall for study, conscious, but unable to respond.
For now, he feels safe as long as he can fight back.
In his mind, TRUMP has only one worthy adversary, himself.
Everyone else is inferior, and can be beaten back and managed.
Nobody ever gets the best of TRUMP.
That said, TRUMP can be deflated like the gasbag he is, by forcing him to confront himself.
"Unbridled Puffery" comes to mind.
Self reflection will present him with his greatest challenge.
Make it obvious to TRUMP that he won because we were stunned by his neediness.
The neediest human ever to walk the Earth stood before us, exposing his soulless self for all to see.
We let TRUMP have what he wanted because we were taken aback by his petulant cries for attention.
Americans have always shown a generosity of spirit for those in desperate need.
There is something deep in our collective psyche that absorbs TRUMP’s act with a sense of awe.
“HOLY SHIT, that friggin' guy is really standing there acting like that! We gotta help him."
Our compassion and the ensuing confusion have allowed TRUMP to gain a foothold.
The slightly pathetic act gave TRUMP the upper hand.
Lure the suckers in close by appearing vulnerable, feign some deep understanding, give 'em a little pet on the head, then push everyone back on their heels with a leering, swaggering facade, and never stop pushing.
It's what TRUMP does.
Keep 'em off balance.
Devour weakness.
Now he has the citizenry milling around, passively waiting to be further stunned and bludgeoned into submission.
We are stumbling backwards, suffering blunt force trauma, and reeling from overstimulation, while TRUMP joyfully soars through the rarified air, always remaining above the fray.
USA is now his realm, and only his.
We exist to do TRUMP’s bidding, while he exists only to satisfy himself.
WOW!
What can we do?
Understand this.
TRUMP truly believes he is the ultimate media genius of all time.
So far, he's right.
Control the media.
Control the message.
Control the world.
Not a problem for the ultimate media genius.
TRUMP wins the media game, no question.
TRUMP, the character, is the greatest marketing/branding ploy ever.
The character has taken over.
TRUMP is much stronger and more powerful than Donald J Trump, and TRUMP wants it all.
Donald J Trump performs the role of POTUS in a power induced delirium, under the spell of TRUMP.
Behind those beady eyes he’s still 12 years old and it’s all going his way.
He is living, directing, and starring in his favorite Saturday afternoon movie of all time, “Branding The Future TRUMP”.
In the movie, our hero is loved by all and he gets the girl.
“I’m The President and you’re not.”
Visions of omnipotence, planted by TRUMP, swirl through Donald J Trump’s bloated noggin, devouring his common sense, leaving him wallowing in his self-perceived splendor.
TRUMP’s pre-pubescent ego is as overinflated as his gelatinous carcass.
He’s gotta go, but the traditional process of removing POTUS from office is much too slow.
There is no stopping this juggernaut of single mindedness, unless TRUMP shows himself to be the overinflated gasbag he really is.
We need to deflate his fantasy and force him to see himself.
Once deflated, Donald J Trump will wither and quit.
After all, he’s only 12 years old.
In conclusion...
POTUS suffers from severely arrested development.
He experienced a defining moment at a young age, and it stuck.
He got ‘hung up’ on himself at 12.
That's our guy in a nutshell.
Now what?
Force Donald J Trump to confront himself by exposing his intentions.

The future will be much clearer once TRUMP's scheme is out there for all to see.
It's actually very simple, a tried and true path to totalitarianism.
Let's see him explain this and blame it on others.
Disrupt the proceedings at every turn, create chaos and confusion, pander to rank and file police and military, convince these heavily armed supporters that their current leaders are all scheming liars out to screw them, increase attacks on the media, announce that the only way we can continue development of our thriving economy is to allow TRUMP free rein, then convince the public that if TRUMP becomes POTUS for life he can stop wasting time on tedious electoral politics and get down to business.
It will be 'mission accomplished' when global warming opens the fabled Northwest Passage to shipping.
Oil and Natural Gas will flow between USA and Russia, to be distributed as PUTIN and TRUMP see fit.
Think of the problems solved and the opportunities presented by a melting Arctic.
ISIS cannot drive their TOYOTAs to the Arctic.
Russia has been developing a fleet of super icebreakers for years.
Burn that coal.
We need melting ASAP.

I leave you with thoughts of TRUMP being interviewed by Honey Boo Boo.
***
Here's how you can turn resigning into a win.

You can do more to rebuild American Pride as a private citizen.

Washington politics have become way too cumbersome to ever let you accomplish anything worthwhile.

Explain that to your public, and tell them to get ready to rock and roll.

There's work to be done and fortunes to be made, the American Way, the TRUMP way.

Sit across from Howard Stern and explain Russia as you see it.

Simply put, all's fair in Love, War, and Politics.

You did what anyone else would have done, but better.

It worked.

You won.

Pardon yourself and everyone else involved.

Let the lawyers sort it out.

Just remember, "Doze guys dunnit."

You'll get away clean.

You always do.

As a private citizen you will be unrestrained.

Do business with anyone you choose.

You got to publicly humiliate the CEO of Exxon/Mobil.

A Marine Corp General hovers constantly at your beck and call, waiting with baited breath for your next utterance.

You did it.

The power of TRUMP has been established.

Get the old gang back together and MAGA, MAGA, MAGA for fun and profit.

You know this is the best idea you've heard in a long time.

Run with it...!!!

Step away in style, then show us what you really have to offer.

PS...

Before you resign, talk to Vlad about the NW Passage opening due to Global Warming.

Oil and Natural Gas can be transported between US and Russia.

Maybe toss ol' Rex a bone, and let him be involved.

Russians have been developing super ice breakers in preparation for many years.

Middle East and ISIS will become non issues.

The bad guys cannot drive their TOYOTAS to the arctic.

The best idea just got even better.

Don'tcha think?