Monday, November 12, 2018

FREE ADVICE to TRUMP...

Here's how you can turn resigning into a win.

You can do more to rebuild American Pride as a private citizen.

Washington politics have become way too cumbersome to ever let you accomplish anything worthwhile.

Explain that to your public, and tell them to get ready to rock and roll.

There's work to be done and fortunes to be made, the American Way, the TRUMP way.

Sit across from Howard Stern and explain Russia as you see it.

Simply put, all's fair in Love, War, and Politics.

You did what anyone else would have done, but better.

It worked.

You won.

Pardon yourself and everyone else involved.

Let the lawyers sort it out.

Just remember, "Doze guys dunnit."

You'll get away clean.

You always do.

As a private citizen you will be unrestrained.

Do business with anyone you choose.

You got to publicly humiliate the CEO of Exxon/Mobil.

A Marine Corp General hovers constantly at your beck and call, waiting with baited breath for your next utterance.

You did it.

The power of TRUMP has been established.

Get the old gang back together and MAGA, MAGA, MAGA for fun and profit.

You know this is the best idea you've heard in a long time.

Run with it...!!!

Step away in style, then show us what you really have to offer.

PS...

Before you resign, talk to Vlad about the NW Passage opening due to Global Warming.

Oil and Natural Gas can be transported between US and Russia.

Maybe toss ol' Rex a bone, and let him be involved.

Russians have been developing super ice breakers in preparation for many years.

Middle East and ISIS will become non issues.

The bad guys cannot drive their TOYOTAS to the arctic.

The best idea just got even better.

Don'tcha think?

Thursday, November 8, 2018

TRUMP needs a worthy adversary...

I volunteer.

We're about the same age, but I'm nicer, smarter, better looking, and I have much better hair.

TRUMP has probably pissed away more money buying silence than I have earned in my life.

There was no need for me to become a billionaire because I never needed a phalanx of lawyers/fixers to hide my indiscretions.

But TRUMP and I have a lot in common anyway.

The arc of our lives has included many of the same defining moments.

He was 9 when Elvis hit the scene, I was 8, that sort of thing.

While TRUMP has remained above the fray, operating from his numerous Ivory Towers, I dove straight in and explored the belly of the beast.

Always on the lookout for the unusual, my explorations led me to this 1976 photo and accompanying NY Times story.


Image result for trump 1976


TRUMP's coming out party became a defining moment for me.

I had a visceral response, like finding a leech on your skin.

This guy thinks he's smart.

Pay attention to him.

The foppish dork pictured above got too fat for the ridiculous suit, the Caddy has been updated, and the vanity plate says POTUS, but not much else has changed since the photo was taken in 1976.

The vacuous, lonely rich kid from Queens is posturing, looking for a fight.

He found it.


Image result for trump posturing

POTUS takes on the world.

According to TRUMP shill, Sebastian Gorka, this administration represents the 'return of the Alpha Male'.

Meet Gorka's Alpha Male, TRUMP.

That's sadly funny, don'tcha think...?

So, back to volunteering as TRUMP's worthy adversary.

Seeing him the way I do, he's a ridiculously easy target for the type of chiding he does to others.

He can dish it out, he always has.

But can he take it, and remain composed?

I seriously doubt it, he's never had to!

TRUMP's yes men, lawyers and other sycophants have always played along with his heartless jibes.

There was always something in it for all of them, but this is no longer self promotion and real estate, now he's in the real world.

The yes men, et al are headed to jail.

TRUMP suddenly realizes that without the POTUS gig, he will surely end up broke and incarcerated alongside his crew.

The legal pressure is mounting.

His urge to spill the beans and say, "What are you going to do about it? I'm POTUS and you're not.", is greater than his sense of decorum.

All's fair in Love, War, and Politics.

We all have glaring weaknesses.

TRUMP's overwhelming inferiority complex is the reason for his incredible drive, and the biggest stumbling block on his way to the top.

He knows he's a one trick pony, 'come on strong, smile your way through, and never look back'.

That one trick is all he's got.

It's worked like magic in the past.

There's never been any reason to change.

Don't mess with success.

Like I said, I know his ilk.

He can feel something looming over his shoulder right now.

His 'tells' are becoming glaring.

Make him pause to reflect and he is toast.

His 'stand up act' will lose the POW factor.

A single glimmer of doubt will push him to perform his maudlin Joe McCarthy moment.

Sullen listlessness will take over.

I can see him emerging from the WH, disheveled, wearing a luxuriously monogrammed but soiled white robe, slowly dragging himself up the steps to Marine One, where he flails his arms, mimicking Tricky Dick, and muttering, "Top that m'fers!",  as he shuffles off into the underbelly of the beast.

ASIDE...

If TRUMP is really as sportingly competitive as he portrays, he will relish this opportunity to meet, and joust good naturedly.

A worthy adversary will do him good.

Right now, he's his own worst enemy.

Beneath the bluster, he knows it.

Sunday, October 28, 2018

"It's all about me!"...

A nasty 12 year old millionaire from Queens, suffering severely arrested development, lives inside the bloated, 72 year old carcass of TRUMP.

He constantly announces, in his whining, pre-pubescent voice, "Look at me. I'm POTUS and you're not. It's all about me!"

It's time to show the twisted little foot stomper what we think of his demands for attention.

Don't let him have his way, no matter how many tantrums he throws.


SEND HIM HOME...!!!...MAKE HIM QUIT...!!!...

Wednesday, October 24, 2018

TRUMP at 12...

Donald J Trump's 12th birthday was June 14, 1958.

He was already a millionaire.

Today, TRUMP is 72 years of age.

He is now a billionaire. ( Depending on who you believe. )

Other than becoming grotesquely bloated, not much has changed for TRUMP since that fateful June day.

As with all 12 year old boys, young Donald was always sizing himself up against his peers, establishing where he stood in the Realm of Guydom.

The news was not good.

TRUMP realized that he was good at one thing, and one thing only, being an overbearing rich kid.

He was never going to get the girl because of his physical prowess, or his charming likeability.

TRUMP's defining moment left him in a state of permanently arrested development.

On June 14 1958, Donald J Trump had an Epiphany.

TRUMP, the puerile, smarmy, pitchman, was born.
                          
Deep inside that bloated 72 year old carcass, TRUMP is a lonely 12 year old rich kid with all the toys, but nobody to play with because he never learned to get along.

He has an axe to grind.

In 1958, the world was black and white, good v. bad, might makes right.

That clear, simple view still represents TRUMP's outlook.

Anything more complicated confuses his 12 year old mind.

TRUMP avoids confusion by ignoring everything that does not suit him, because the overbearing rich kid learned long ago that confusion leads to hesitation.

Hesitation leads to reflection.

Reflection is TRUMP's Kryptonite.

I like to imagine him in his Superman jammies, dreaming his 12 year old dreams.

"I am The Most Powerful Man In The World, right up there with my heroes Abe Lincoln and Teddy Roosevelt. Wow! I am awesome. I love me."

TRUMP first dreamed that dream as a 12 year old millionaire.

He has made that dream come true by never changing.

He might even still wear the Superman jammies.

His only goal is to add zeroes to the right.

"More, more, more, and it's all for me. Everyone else can founder in my wake."

No stopping to reflect for this guy.

"No regrets."

Thursday, October 18, 2018

Lookin' for a friend...

Donald J Trump is looking for a friend, a pal, a sidekick, a worthy adversary, somebody he can smirk with as they bask in their shared magnificence, his equal in other words.

Everything in Donald J Trump's 'adult' life has been driven by his quest.

But, it seems the role can never be filled.

Nobody ever meets the requirements.

Donald J Trump searches constantly for that elusive moment when he reaches out to shake hands with his equal and senses pure friendship.

"Wow, this smart, rich, powerful person likes me."

Donald J Trump has spent decades traveling the globe in search of this imaginary friend.

His push for the Presidency was motivated by the opportunity to meet with world leaders and size them up.

But they all proved inferior, not worthy of TRUMP.

Unfortunately, he wouldn't recognize genuine friendship if it jumped up and bit him.

He's never experienced it in real life.

A few months ago he spoke at a fallen officer gathering.

The elderly mother of a victim came onstage and stood there stroking and petting his arm for a long time.

It is the only time in his life he has felt such pure warmth and affection.

TRUMP was stunned and transfixed.

But an elderly colored woman can't be his BFF.

He needs billionaires, Oligarchs, and world leaders, not common, poorly educated folk.

If any of them were smart enough to be his friend, they wouldn't be poor.

Which leads us back to the root of the problem.

In his mind, TRUMP is a winner, an exalted being, superior to everyone he has ever met.

Fred told him so all the time.

And ya gotta admit, he's winning big time right now.

"I'm the President and you're not."

Sadly, our guy is doomed to remain alone in his Ivory Tower because there is no worthy adversary to hang around with.

It's lonely at the top.

Putin showed promise, but if they had really hit it off TRUMP would have given Putin the left elbow in his ribs as the two stood there shaking hands, followed by a wink and a lurid grin.

Just a couple of old buddies horsing around, sharing a laugh and a knowing wink at the expense of those poor, stupid people flocking around.

But ol' Vlad apparently fell short in the "I'm a stable genius" department.

All those late night phone calls were for naught.

Another potential BFF falls by the wayside because he or she is simply not genetically gifted with a huge intellect.

Lonesome Don is such a genetically gifted person.

Ask him.

***